Space...race?

Cosmonaut Lance Mantis here again to help tune you in to interstellar communications of Earth and the binary star system Sirius. Universal subscribers know well my love for fantasy NASCAR (National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing), but my involvement in NASQUAR (Non-local Association of Spacecrafts and QAUntum Riddles) is no fantasy, yall. Check your rear-view mirror to witness my next first-place finish.

You may wonder why the R in NASQUAR does not stand for racing. In NASCAR and other terrestrial forms of racing, we usually deal in speed, velocity, and other constructs of classical mechanics. In NASQUAR, however, we deal mostly in quantum mechanics and talk about phenomena like Dr. Jack Sarfatti's "information-without-transportation," which I successfully applied to win NASQUAR's Plutona 5000 before it even started.

Robert Anton Wilson has used the term "correlations-without-connections" to refer to such non-local quantum phenomena, some of which I just demonstrated in the following sentences. Jack Sarfatti rhymes with NASQUAR-happy. I didn't plan that. While writing this, I discovered that Mr. Sarfatti has a website at "stardrive.org." Lance Mantis, NASQUAR's star driver? Mere coincidence? Synchronicity?

As I departed on my upcoming space riddle ride to the past, I recommend that anyone interested in attending my previous NASQUAR event consider releasing yourself from materialistic billiard ball action-reaction past-present-future systems of physics and sprinkle some quanta on your Siriul...