When Hell Comes to Frogtown!

As I pulled into Frogtown, Florida today, I was greeted by a plethora of these strange warning signs. What was even more strange were the citizens. Why were they naked or dressed in old suits and dresses? Why were they dirty and/or bleeding? Why were some missing limbs and vital organs? Why were they biting one another? I decided to stop and investigate the "happenings". I rolled-up on a chap who seemed pre-occupied with some lady who was taking a nap on the side-walk. I asked the fellow his name and he grunted at me! I think he was drunk because as he shambled to the car, he stumbled a bit and then vomited blood on my hood! He tried to open the door of my car so I cracked the window and asked directions to the nearest gas station! I was running very low on gas and really didn't want to get stranded here...(It seemed to be the bad side of town!) It was then I realized the problem.... THEY WERE RUDE AND DIDN'T SEEM TO LIKE OUTSIDERS! I pulled forward and I think ran over his foot. He didn't seem to mind so I kept going. They don't have strict jay-walking laws in this town because it seemed the entire town was milling around in the street. They wouldn't move so I had to, more-or-less, slalom between the citizens taking care not to hit any of them. They must of had some street-party that got out of hand because there were police cars and buildings on fire. "What a bunch of drunks", I thought to myself. "It's 10:00am and these people are hammered! It will be a cold-day in Hell before I ever come back to this shit-hole!"